Drops of Angst
by rightxhere
Summary: An AU in which Belle met and fell in love with Killian Jones, a seafaring merchant, rather than stay and marry Sir Gaston at her father's arrangement... and how it all went so terribly wrong after Rumplestiltskin came in search of her.


**Title:** Drops of Angst  
**Author:** Demelza  
**Disclaimer:** Once Upon A Time and its characters belong to ABC, I'm just borrowing them for a bit.  
**Fandom:** Once Upon A Time  
**Pairing:** Hook/Belle  
**Rating:** O13  
**Summary:** An AU in which Belle met and fell in love with Killian Jones, a seafaring merchant, rather than stay and marry Sir Gaston at her father's arrangement... and how it all went so terribly wrong after Rumplestiltskin came in search of her.  
**Author's Note:** Please forgive any and all grammatical / spelling errors, I suffer from the effects of a head injury so sometimes I completely mess up my sentences or confuse words. I tried to catch them all, but you never know!

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Having ran away from her father and supposed-to-be fiance, Belle found herself in a seaside tavern, attracting the eye of a handsome sailor, Killian Jones.

As the sun began to rise, they found themselves sitting in the corner, talking about the adventures she'd always dreamed of, and the adventures he tired of having no-one to share them with.

They stood on the docks at dawn, in front of his late father's merchant ship, the Cassandra.

"Why don't you come with me, lass? My crew and I are headed North, and who knows what adventures lie ahead."

"I… I don't know," Belle said. Her life was back in the Frontlands, with her father the King and the Knight she'd been promised to in exchange for help against the Ogres. "If my father…"

"He'll not know. And when you get settled, should you so choose I'll journey to his kingdom myself to let him know you are alive and well."

"You would do that for me?"

He smiled with charm and adoration both. "I'd do anything m'lady wishes."

Belle let out a breath. Was this foolish of her? To consider the life a seafaring merchant's son had to offer? Her father's kingdom was more important than her own happiness, she knew that. And yet, she stood gazing up at the man before her, feeling something towards him she'd never felt with another man - least of all Sir Gaston, her betrothed. She felt love, the very kind of love her mother had told her existed beyond the pages of a book.

"Perhaps…" she began after a moment, catching her breath. "Perhaps you would take me with you?"

Killian arched an eyebrow, then smiled at her. "Belle, it would be my honor."

And so she walked with him, along the plank and together they boarded the ship.

~

It took almost six weeks before the Cassandra's journey across the Great Ocean came to an end. Belle was below deck when she heard a a commotion overhead.

She clambered up the steps and out onto the deck, just in time to see a man with green and gold scales on his skin slash at Killian with his sword.

Belle winced as Killian dropped to the deck in agony.

The scaly man set his sword against Killian's neck then, and with a high pitched, hysterical voice he asked, "Didn't your father ever tell you it was impolite to steal what wasn't yours?"

"I stole nothing from you, Rumlestiltskin!"

"No, you're quite right. But I tell you who you did steal from: a foolish Knight who owes me a very great debt he'll never be able to repay."

Belle swallowed hard. She'd never told Killian about Sir Gaston, or how her father had promised her hand to the Knight in exchange for aid in the Frontlands' plight against the Ogres.

"I tell you what," Rumplestiltskin said, his tone a mixture of amusement and boredom. "Come to the docks when the sun sets. I shall duel with you, and if you win I will allow the Happy Couple to go on their merry way."

Killian swallowed. "And... if I don't win?"

Rumplestiltskin withdrew his sword, "Why, then she's mine, of course!" He cackled, a haze of thick purple smoke encircled him with the snap of his fingers, and then he was gone.

Belle stood motionless, every inch of her body trembling with fear.

"He won't," Killian managed, rising to his feet. He looked at Belle. "I won't let him win."

He inched closer to Belle, and lifted his hand to her cheek. "I won't let him take you from me."

"I know," Belle whispered, her breath hitching. She knew the truth though. The truth that Killian was no swordsman, and that even the friendly jousts with his crew when they were at sea had led to him being bloodied and bruised more times than not.

Sunset came quicker than Belle would have liked. Killian had spent much of the day above deck, fencing with his First Mate, Leonardo. She'd pleaded and pleaded for him to sail away from the town and head as far away as fast as they could, only they'd both heard the Midwives' tales when they were children. They'd both heard about the greatly feared, Rumplestiltskin. He was a trickster, a deal maker. He wouldn't let them run, and she knew it. They both knew it.

Belle hid in the shadows as Killian waited for Rumplestiltskin to arrive, and when he did - amidst a cloud of purple smoke, with sword in hand - she staggered backwards, further into the shadows.

"Shall we begin then?"

"Let's," Killian replied, unsheathing his sword and turning to face the Dark One.

Within moments, the duel began and Belle watched on in fear as the pair fought.

The clang of swords rang high, but no sooner had the sword fight began, it ended. Killian was on his knees, his sword two feet in front of him, and Rumplestiltskin towered over him.

Rumplestiltskin pressed the edge of his sword to Killian's throat. "A man unwilling to win a duel..." he taunted, "...deserves what he gets."

Belle stood there, frozen.

At that, Rumplestiltskin dropped his sword and lunged his fist into Killian's chest.

Killian cried out in pain, and Belle pleaded, "Stop it!"

Rumplestiltskin, his hand still inside Killian's chest, looked over at where Belle emerged from the shadows.

"Leave him," she commanded, her heart pounding hard and fast.

As if highly amused, and extremely pissed off, Rumplestiltskin let get of Killian and dropped him to the ground. He stalked towards Belle, nothing but malice in his eyes.

"What did you say, Princess?"

"I said leave him."

"And what do I get in return?" he asked. "I was quite looking forward to crushing his heart when you-"

"Me. You get me."

"Belle, no," Killian cried out. "He'll kill you!"

Belle searched Rumplestiltskin's confused and hate-filled eyes. "Killian and his crew," she started, pausing to catch her breath. "They'll live?"

"Of course."

She steeled herself, tried so desperately not to led the tears she was desperate to shed shine through. "Then you can take me. But you must first promise - promise me you won't harm him."

A twisted smile curved Rumplestiltskin's lips. "Very well, Princess. You have my word."

"And you have mine."

Rumplestiltskin let out a high-pitched, hysterical laugh. "Excellent!"

"Belle," Killian pleaded, and when she looked at him she could see the grief in his eyes. "Don't do this. Not for me."

The Dark One turned to Killian, his delirious smile having faded. "The deal has been struck, dearie."

And with a snap of his fingers, they were gone, and Killian sat on his knees, staring at the smoke that stood where Belle had been.

She was gone. Forever. And it was all his fault.

~

It had taken five years. Five years of not knowing where Belle was, or if she was even still alive. But Killian had refused to give up. He'd searched the known Kingdoms far and wide, and when he finally caught wind of Rumplestiltskin's castle, he sold the Cassandra and spent the next few years training with the best sword masters he could find.

Only, Killian felt in his heart that the words the King spoke were a lie. In his years of travel, he'd learned every story about Rumplestiltskin that people were willing to share - he truly was the trickster midwives told children to scare them. He was a monster, a deal-maker.

It was when Princess Cinderella, along with Charming and Snow White, captured Rumplestiltskin that Killian decided this was his chance. He would defy all those who told him to give up, he would defy all those who told him his love was dead.

With the help of Robin Hood, he broke into the Dark Castle, battled the guards left to guard and tend to the Dark One's prisoners, and pushed open the door at the top of the North-West tower.

As the door creaked open, he saw her there, her skin pale against the dark walls. Etchings on the wall marked days - far too many to count - and she sat on her bed, dressed in torn rags.

"Belle," he whispered, tearful. He approached her quickly, and yet she stared at him as if he wasn't real. "Belle, it's me."

He worked quickly to unshackle her from the chains on her legs when she whispered, "You're not real," with a voice hoarse from lack of use.

"I'm very real, m'lady," he said, bringing her to her feet with him. "But we must go, before more guards arrive and-"

"Okay," she said, but there was something wrong. There was something in her eyes that told him she was no longer the same woman she was before.

But this wasn't the place for that, and he slipped his arm around her and helped her out of her cell.

~

Belle was silent as they journeyed to the nearest town with the help of Robin Hood. There they parted ways with the wanted-man, and Killian led them to a waiting rowboat. Belle said nothing, but when she looked at him, Killian explained, "A lot has changed these past five years, but... but none of that matters now. What matters is getting you to safety, far, far from here."

She gave him a nod that told him she understood, and when they were ferried to the waiting ship Killian kept one arm wrapped around her shoulder, his other hand gripping his sword in fear Rumplestiltskin was actually free and this had all been a ruse.

After they boarded the ship and the Captain set sail, Killian took Belle below deck. "I'll let you sleep," he said, his voice cracking.

She had barely spoken since he rescued her from Rumplestiltskin's castle and now, as they stood below deck in their assigned cabin, his fears about for well-being only grew.

He turned and was about to leave when he stopped in his footsteps. His chest tightening, he promised, "I'll take you home to your father. To your fiance."

She didn't reply.

Killian took a defeated step towards the door, when he heard Belle let out a soft sob. Pained with guilt, he stopped again.

"Please, don't," Belle pleaded, and he swallowed hard. "Don't... leave."

He turned to face her again, saw the tears running down her cheeks.

"I waited for you," she whispered, closing her eyes. "I spent every night, praying to the gods for you to come find me."

"I tried, Belle," Killian said, stepping over to Belle. "Every day and night, for five years. I travelled the lands, the sea. I searched for you everywhere, and I never gave up. I never once gave up," he promised, "Not even when your father told me Rumplestiltskin had... that he'd killed you."

A tear escaped down Killian's cheek and he closed the distance between them. He gently placed his hands on Belle's hips, drew her close to him, but stopped when she began to tremble at his touch.

"Tell me to go, and I'll..."

Belle's gaze shifted to his mouth then, and Killian's tone fell to a whisper.

"...I'll take you home and I'll... I'll go."

"I don't want you to go," she whispered, her eyes meeting his again. "I want you to hold me... to promise me I'm not dreaming."

Killian lifted his hand and tenderly caressed her cheek for a long few moments. "You're not dreaming, Belle," he murmured, "You're free now. He won't harm you... ever again."

Belle leaned her body into his then, and when she pressed her lips to his and kissed him, Killian felt a rush of every emotion he'd felt after he'd lost her. He felt loss and grief, anger and hatred, hope and desperation. And when they parted for air and leaned their foreheads together he was hit with a new emotion. One he hadn't feel since losing her: joy.

They wrapped their arms around one another, and as he felt her body against his chest he whispered, "I love you, Belle."

Through one soft sob after another, she murmured, "I love you, Killian. I love you."

He had no idea where they would go from here, but one thing he knew for certain was that he was never going to lose her again. He couldn't bear the thought of never seeing her ever again.


End file.
